I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
