While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
