I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
