i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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