I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
