so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
