What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
