ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
