"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
