Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
