he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
