i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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