guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
