Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
