He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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