I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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