Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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