i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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