This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
