The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"