he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.