Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."