Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.