i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
These tits shall not be calmed
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