There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?