i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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