All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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