Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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