one might say we're banned from that church
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
