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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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