If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
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both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize