My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
