Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
