who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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