I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
