remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
