You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
