She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
