So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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