the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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