I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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