I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize