drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
