the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
