Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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