i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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