Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
