I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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