does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
