OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
