I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
