i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
