guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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