Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
send nudes
from the living room?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
