She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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