3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
