you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
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the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize