Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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