i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
