She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize