i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
