I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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