I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
