All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
