would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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