Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
