under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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