I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
