i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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