Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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