around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
